pop crisis

I am having a pop crisis! The king of pop is dead and her 'mag'esty (madonna) has seriously lost the plot. I went to see Madonna last night at the MEN and it was a fright...she went on very late then she mimed her way effortlessly through the first section of the concert. She danced like a 12 year old (and dressing like one!), she even tried to fool us with costume changes and at one point we were supposed to believe it was her singing under a full cape whilst sat on a grand piano (I am pretty sure it was a body double whilst she put her feet up in the dressing room drinking pop). The most grotesque spectacle was the unpleasant display of wealth and bizarre obsession with showing us her pants. Though there was a pretty good middle section where she seemed to have joined the fair and became incorporated into a Hispanic gypsy family even this was marred by slightly a preoccupation with death and the 'cult of the child'. Madonna needs to spend some quality time coming to terms with her shift from youth to middle age, enjoy being an older woman and not see herself as having to prove herself as a sexual being...there is so much more to her than this but at the moment her pain at the loss of youth is unnerving and slightly disarming. As an audience member it makes for uncomfortable viewing (and not in a useful challenging way). Because she started so late we missed most of the last section - because we had to catch the last train home - which if she went on to demonstrate that she was in a transition and was seeking a new phase in life would have been encouraging - but I suspect it went on to be more of a cry for help!

I don't want to walk away from pop. I want to see something useful, challenging, musically inspiring in the mainstream but at the moment I am really struggling to find anything in the charts that makes me want to celebrate life. I know Philly J will help me through this crisis...but I have seriously hit a musical wall. We need Cathy Dennis to write a great pop song NOW!

back blogging

This was the very moment of priestly ordination (a highly illegal photograph taken by my lovely husband)


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Well, it is good to be back...back here on my first web-blog (having left Diakonia behind - the website that is because 'once a deacon always a deacon!') and also back after a number of adventures.

So much has happened in the last few weeks, so here is a quick run down:

- I was ordained priest a few weeks back - which was an amazing event. I was far more relaxed than last year and felt a lot more confident about my place in the process this year. The diaconate year is so important in terms of getting my head round all the changes in my life and directing myself toward my new ministry. It was far from ordinary but it certainly prepared me for the shift to the priesthood.

- I presided at my first communion(s) - because I serve at two churches I got to do this twice! It is difficult to describe the remarkable privilege of presiding I was quite overwhelmed by the whole thing. I was very stressed about it and managed to mess up a few bits and bobs but I was drawn into the church community in a whole new way...supported, loved, cherished. Brilliant.

- I have been on clergy conference. I really didn't know what to expect but was actually quite pleasantly surprised by the 3 days of retreat to Swanwick with 300 vicars. We were entertained by Roger McGough and Hugh Dennis, spiritually challenged by Jim Wallis and June Osborne. I also attended a couple of great theological debates led by Ann Morisy and Paula Gooder . It as great to catch up with old friends and meet some new people. I came away feeling challenged and spiritually refreshed (but also a bit tired - too many late nights setting the world to rights).

- I have also been to Spain on holiday to a wonderful villa in the hills outside Malaga - Villa Victoria. It was a real treat to go away somewhere very hot, with a private pool and just sit about soaking in the sun. Spending time with Eva and Mark - just the 3 of us - was a real treat too. We have not had much time together this year and a whole week was great (though it did take some getting used to!). I have managed to become 'off-white' - a nice low level tan - for the first time in years. I also read some great books, ate some fantastic food and spent some time with my cousin Ian who lives in Torremolinos.

- I am now trying to get my head together for a busy week - including going to see Madonna at the MEN tomorrow . We also are off to John and Johanna's wedding on Saturday - which will be an exciting adventure.

So, best go and get on with living the life I blog - I will let you know how I get on with PillyJ at Madonna's egofest tomorrow...

NEW BLOG

I have moved my postings to a new blog! It is called Diakonia. This new blog will only last for my diaconate year. I don't have a plan for content yet but I suspect it will be similar to this one.

thanks for tuning in to this blog over the last couple of years. Hope you can join me in my new virtual world.

I am all revd up!

So, it is all done. I am a reverend, living in vicarage. I got ordained on Sunday having spent 3 glorious days on ordination retreat (ordination retreat was blooming marvelous, met some fantastic people and really had a great start to my new life). Getting ordained was pretty good as well.

This picture is of the people who were on the ordination retreat - 19 people got ordained this week (15 in the cathedral on Sunday and the other 4 in their churches over the week). The picture was taken at Crosby beach - you might be able to make out one of the Crosby iron men wearing a cassock in the background (we know how to have a laugh in the church of England you know...dressing up the public art in clergy garb!). The retreat took place very near by Crosby beach (not that I left the house much) and this picture was taken for the Church Times. I wonder if they'll use it?

The service itself was extremely moving and I found it affirming and empowering, and a bit awe inspiring. I am not sure that living up to that fanfare of a start will be very easy. Hey ho. I also found it very tiring and my bones have been aching ever since (probably the kneeling and special slow holy walking that was done!). Unfortunately I have to go to the mid-week healing service now so can't really tell you much more about the ordination or what's happened since. Well, not just now anyway!

I also have to tell you about my new blog. From now on I will be blogging on here - it is called diakonia and will track my year as a Church of England Deacon. I haven't put anything on there yet but I will announce the first posting as soon as it is up. see ya.

B-T-W the man with the yellow spade (bottom right) is David Parry the Diocesan Director of Ordinands! It's a hard job but someone's got to do it...

getting ready for retreat

We have managed to get the house sorted for the visitors expected for ordination weekend. The family are travelling from far and wide to be here - no pressure then! The beds are all made up and I have planned menus for most of the days I am away (cake baking begins in earnest tomorrow). The rehearsal is on Wednesday and the retreat starts on thurs evening. In preparation for the weekend I have been sleeping as much as possible, catching up with friends, seeing the new stuff that has been built in Liverpool since I was last here (e.g. the Liverpool One shopping centre, the urban design centre, the echo arena) and reading a Surprised by Hope by Tom Wright. I a afraid I am not being all that holy. I'm not being not holy but I thought I might find myself being more holy this week but there are still shelves to put up, trips to the dump to do etc. Finding heaven in these ordinary things has been a challenge but God has been there in it all! I realised this when I was at Christ Church yesterday (my sending church and the place where all this 'being a vicar' stuff began). I looked up at the stained glass window from the pew I always sit in and remembered the day that I felt that calling for the first time (I was breast feeding Eva at the time and about to hand her on to someone else to hold her because I had to play the guitar), I had jut been declared bankrupt, had not long been married, was living in a hippie commune and struggling with my faith in a way that I had never experienced before. In the past my faith was a theory, at that time I was clinging on to it for grim death and was living it so tightly I could hardly hold on.

But, during the process of bankruptcy I had for the first time accepted that I was forgiven and that God loved me more than I would ever know or feel - it was an assurance of love that was so deep that I didn't even need to feel it. And as I sat there that day it felt like I could give myself back to God - give up hanging on to my life and it occurred to me that I could be a priest, that I could serve God in a way that was public and transparent. That I could also serve the church (the fragile church that I have had so much beef with over the years!)...and that was it. I made a commitment to God then to pursue that calling and haven't ever felt any differently about it since. That is where it started! Now I am about to make that commitment in front of everyone else and start my new job. So, this week I am trying to be ordinary, getting on with the stuff of life, but just remembering the journey from there to here .

new house

Well, we are in Liverpool and are starting to get settled. It has been ages since I have blogged or even gone on-line. The problem is that thee is no internet connection here - the only way to get on-line is to piggieback on someone else's connection or go to an internet cafe! Both have their own problems neither are effective really and I have very little time at the moment to sort it all out. Anyway, enough of all that - Liverpool is great, the house is getting great and once we have things under control (as much control is possible in the circumstances) I am sure I will feel a bit better. This in between stage of not being student any more and not starting my new job is quite odd.

I would love to blog about this more but unfortunately my time has run out. I will be on-line properly sometime next week and I hope to get some more time before then to check email etc. If you are trying to contact me then the best way is to phone my mobile or leave a comment here or email (as long as you can wait) and I will get to it asap.

valedictory 2008 - pictures

This is a lovely picture of Elise, Eva and I with Bishop Roger Sainsbury and his wife Jenny at yesterday's valedictory service.

I no time to blog! Here are some more pictures of the valedictory on Marks Picassa site

last day with my Trinity friends

So, today was the last time together here at Trinity. The valedictory service went off ok...no tears, only a small fight with Mark at the start and a last chance to say goodbye to people. My head is so full of moving that I was hardly able to take it all in. But it is all done now.


The house is now in complete chaos and it sounds like our new house is a bit chaotic too. The carpets can't get cleaned until the day we actually move in so I have a feeling that the carpet cleaner and the removal people are going to meet on the stairs. hey ho.

Mark has nearly finished cleaning the cooker and there is only Eva's room to sort and the outhouses to clear. So, we are on target. I can't remember it being this last minute when we left Liverpool.

Right I am off to try to sleep. Got to still my head and quieten my heart. The apprehension has kicked in now and worse case scenarios are playing away in my head. My fertile imagination isn't helping very much!